I happened upon this letter in a desolate corner of hell, a gloomy place that no man – let alone an Orthodox priest like myself – should have ventured. While its contents are disturbing, I feel humanity has the right to know what our demonic opponent, the hater of mankind, is plotting against us. May God forgive me for my wanderings, and may He rescue and save us! – Rev. J.M.
Master Curse!
Your Disgrace, I write to you with glee, eagerly fulfilling your demand for a regress report. Everything is coming together exactly as you planned. Your scoffers and naysayers wail like hounds as your cleverness bursts forth with the passionate rage of a million nuclear bombs. The earth is ravaged, nature destroyed, and most importantly, Adam’s race, those disgusting fallen apes, have turned their backs to the Enemy while they grovel at our feet, begging for enlightenment.
As Hell would have it, the humans of today are little more than brutish animals, minds awash in glowing screens, caring for nothing except the satisfaction of their animal appetites. There were some of the lower order among us who doubted your brilliant plan would succeed – not due to a lack of genius on your part – but due to the gross incompetence of these morons. Yet as you cleverly foresaw, everything is unfolding precisely. The humans are awestruck as they are spun into your web, paralyzed by the venom of the wonders we display.
As you well know, the Enemy’s earthly army continues to crumble. Exact numbers hardly matter given the laughable state of his pathetic soldiers – if they can be called such – for they grow more stupid, lazy, and deluded by the day. When we begin to lay a snare for them, they help us spread the net; when we devise a weapon against them, they sharpen it and beckon all their brethren to fall upon its deadly point. A demon hardly finishes his craft when a man rushes upon him, seizes it, and begins to bludgeon his fellow man with it.
Hell’s foremost metallurgist, His Disgrace Azazel, continues his wicked work with the so-called “spacecraft.” It took some experimentation to find the sizes and shapes that would appeal most to the wretched brood. We had to develop designs that evoked an “out of this world” feeling while also maintaining the necessary veneers of science and progress.
As in the days of Cain and Tubal-Cain, His Disgrace has left material in conspicuous areas for the apes to discover. Unlike Tubal-Cain, who was a careful and astute observer, we must presently precede the placement of our craft with bright lights, flares, and even “pilots” fleeing the scene. Once discovered, the fools pounce upon the craft, eager to unravel its dark mysteries. Despite their obtuseness, the lust for power displayed by these apes today nearly rivals the Dark Throne itself. We have truly refashioned them in our image and likeness.
We have scattered dozens of these craft across the world. While the idiocy of the apes stunted our brilliant efforts for a time, they have finally managed to reverse engineer a few pieces of the technology we left for them. In due time, everything will be in place for us to initiate the final phase of the Dark Throne’s Plan.
Connected with the spacecraft, we have concocted so-called pilots. One of the less brilliant little imps here tried humanoids in diving suits as well as little green men, but the humans began calling them Martians and associated them with the nearby planet. He even plunged into the depths of foolishness by having a group of imps hand one of the apes pancakes. Pancakes. I shake my horns in disgust. But never fear, we stretched the useless imp over the rack and tortured him mercilessly for his stupidity.
When it looked like your masterful plan was beginning to fragment into a million pointless directions under the former, less capable leadership, I intervened with a much more sophisticated idea, something that would be both uncannily familiar yet intriguingly mysterious: “the Greys.” These apparitions of ours are taken more seriously by the apes. I held to the humanoid form that you commanded, knowing that their scientific eyes would cause them to miss the inverted icon of man that these Greys represent. Instead of seeing the parody, they proclaim the Grey to be a more highly evolved and enlightened humanoid.
Some of the more clever imps borrowed a body, refashioned it into a Grey, and stayed by their craft in their physical form, feigning injury. The humans captured these Grey visitors and are holding several of them in highly guarded fortresses. In this form, the apes come fawning before us, begging that we communicate with them. Of course, we are more than happy to oblige, speaking with them thought-to-thought as we usually do. Rather than this form of communication being a limitation – as some feared – it is enhancing our influence over them. While it is quite an ordinary form of communication for superior beings like us, the morons marvel at it, christening it “telepathic,” “advanced,” and “enlightened.”
As you requested, His Disgrace Penemue has inspired the darkened minds of the idiots with a new technological medium – one in which we will soon communicate directly with the humans. No longer were you satisfied with so-called “social media,” which pushes the humans toward every diabolical passion as they lust, envy, and aimlessly fight with one another. Now, with the new technology, the humans are creating soulless warriors with whom the apes find a never-tiring partner in sin.
Of course, this recent technology had to provide utilitarian and financial ambitions to arouse excitement in those greedy creatures. But once they captured the darkened vision, they raced forth, each nation desperate to outpace the other, to use it for destroying one another. Their inventors openly admit that this technology could be the end of apekind, yet they obsessively rush into our trap. As I said above, a demon can hardly finish his craft before a man snatches it and begins to bludgeon his fellow man with it.
This tool of yours, which they named “artificial intelligence” (though it is neither artificial nor intelligent) presents itself as a digital icon of the collective fallen human consciousness. Some of them have noticed that we occasionally place a finger on the algorithm – and like the Ouija boards – gently direct the output. Yet the apes carry this new technology in their pockets with them everywhere, forsaking love, friendship, and deep learning for the empty pleasure of conversing with a soulless algorithm.
Everything is coming together as you planned, Your Disgrace. The spacecrafts fill the idiots with awe and wonder while leaving them with a certain feeling of inevitability – that humanity’s next evolutionary step is deeply entwined with these visitors from the heavens. The A.I. provides us with the means of communicating directly with the masses, and ensuring that those whom we place in civil positions can monitor the populations for dissenters who will be eliminated. The two will soon enough be merged, and every ape will have a demon, or a “Non-Human Intelligence,” rather, with whom he can communicate as he wills.
I hope I am not being too bold in saying this, but I have heard whispers from the Dark Throne about things to come. These things excite me because I am now able to see how you will bring the pieces together. Not that my cunning matches yours! I see things as mere shadows while you perceive them with wicked clarity.
One whispering wind told me that perhaps our “alien” crafts have been placed near the waters so that, when the time comes for the Great and Final Deception, it will arise from the ocean. All our Greys and technology will then point to this Great Deceiver, directing the apes to worship him as the fulfillment of all spirituality and religions. The Enemy’s organization will be utterly abolished! The masses will see signs and wonders in the skies everywhere, and our Great Deceiver will utter every kind of blasphemy against the Enemy, exalting himself to the heavenly thrones. The kingdoms will fall before him, the nations will lick his feet, and every wretched soul that refuses to comply with our cunning will be tortured and destroyed.
But, I must wonder, will any ape be able to resist the Great and Final Deception? They have rejected the teachers of the past as antiquated, they are too consumed in their technology to notice the present, and they thereby do not realize that we are their future.
O, Most Devious One, evil are your works, and supremely exalted below all forever!
Kissing your gnarled hand,
Archdemon Akubar
End Notes:
Hopefully it’s obvious this was written with an appreciative nod toward CS Lewis and his Screwtape Letters. I have been researching the topic of UFOs, NHI, UAP, etc. for several months and it struck me yesterday that the easiest way to address this topic for me would be to write about it in a fictional setting. Stories can often convey more meaning while using significantly fewer words. Perhaps, if time allows, I’ll put together a much more detailed analysis of my research and what I feel is a healthy Orthodox approach to the topic.
The images throughout this post were generated with AI. I find it’s quite good at devilish art.