We all carry within us a narrative, a story about who we are and what we can accomplish. Our entire lives are subconsciously directed by our internal narrative. Some examples:
- I’ll never accomplish much because I’m a failure. So why bother trying?
- Nobody would love me if they knew me for what I truly am. So, I must hide the real me.
- I’m not smart enough… or I can’t master this… I’m too old, I’m too young, I’m too anxious.
- My efforts don’t matter. It’s all just going to fall apart anyway, or I’ll end up doing something stupid and messing it all up.
- I’m too far gone, too far wrapped up in my sins for God to really love me.
- I can’t change, I’ve tried. It just isn’t possible for me.
- My problems are too big, too deep for me to find fulfillment in life.
- I make no real difference by being alive.
We trudge through each day, each week, smiling at others, pretending to be ok, when we’re falling apart inside – feeling unloved, unappreciated, overwhelmed, and uncertain.
This internal narrative — through which we judge and evaluate reality and our relationships with others — is a psychological and spiritual barrier that is impossible to overcome on our own. For that reason, our Lord said,
without me ye can do nothing
God in Our Nothingness
About 70 years ago, a man named Hillary Edmund decided that he was going to do what no one else had done. He would ascend Mt. Everest. Plenty of people before him died trying, but he was determined he could do it.
So, he set out, he tried, and he failed — repeatedly.
What he learned was that neither pride nor sheer determination would bring him to his goal. Instead, the great mountain had to be conquered by humility.
He hired a Sherpa named Tenzing Norgay, who was wise and deeply understood the mountain, the shifts in weather that occur, and how to navigate treacherous ice and snow. Tenzing didn’t fight Everest; he listened to it. He knew when to push, and more importantly, he knew when to yield (— there’s a lot we can learn about our own internal struggle from knowing when to push or yield).
Together, the two of them accomplished what no one had done before: ascend Mt. Everest and live to tell about it.
Today, we celebrate the Orthodox saints of North America. Some of these men and women grew up on American soil, endured many trials, temptations, and set-backs similar to what you and I experience — and yet they became saints.
How did they do that without burning out and without falling into pride?
They remembered the words of our Lord:
“Without me, ye can do nothing.”
And they truly believed it. They looked at their limitations, their insecurities, and their failures like Mt. Everest – an impossible summit to ascend – impossible without God. They didn’t try to stir up faith in themselves. Instead, they looked past their nothingness and to the God who can create beauty from ashes.
When tempted, they said, “I can’t beat this. But Christ in me can.” When exhausted they said, “I’m too tired. But Christ bore His cross after beatings and shame, and with His grace, I can do this.”
The world tells us we need to believe in ourselves. But this is wrong. We need to believe in Christ – and really believe in Him. Because while we can do nothing without Christ, the opposite holds true:
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13).
The context of that passage is important. St. Paul wasn’t trying to provide a nice little quote for athletes to write on a football or on their arm before a game. Instead, he was talking about living in great poverty and in abundance, going hungry and being full. No matter what situation he found himself in, he knew he would be ok because he was abiding in Christ. Our Lord said,
I am the vine, ye are the branches:
He that abideth in me, and I in him,
the same bringeth forth much fruit:
for without me ye can do nothing.
That all sounds great on paper, but how do we make it a reality in our lives? First, we remember today is the Sunday of All Saints of N. America. By having this Sunday in our liturgical calendar, the Orthodox Church is telling us:
“You also are called to be a saint. Don’t think this is for people who lived a long time ago or a land far, far away!”
So first, we have to ask God to help us strike down the internal narratives, these lies we’ve come to believe in this life, so that we can believe sanctity is possible.
Our Lord said, “Be ye holy as I am holy.” This wasn’t a suggestion to the elite who think they’ve got what it takes. This is a universal commandment for all of us to fulfill.
Furthermore, from the same chapter in Philippians, St. Paul tells us how we might flesh this out in our lives:
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true,
whatever things are noble,
whatever things are just,
whatever things are pure,
whatever things are lovely,
whatever things are of good report,
if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy
—meditate on these things.
When we fixate on, “I’m not worthy of being loved” or “I’m too far gone” or “the spiritual life is too hard,” we are focused on the wrong PERSON. The focus must be on Christ – not ourselves and our limitations.
Instead of our inadequacies, we focus on what is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, etc. And then we look to the saints to guide us, as St. Paul himself said in the next verse:
The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.
He didn’t just say, “Be like Jesus, ok?” He said, “The example that I set, the way that I worshiped, the way that I prayed, the way that I trusted Christ, the way that I never gave up, do likewise. If you do so, God’s peace will be upon you.”
And so we look to the saints, especially the North American saints, because they show us how to be like Jesus Christ.
Much of the spiritual life is a mental battle with the lies we’ve come to believe about ourselves. We are not entirely to blame — we had broken, sinful parents who raised us in their broken image; we had sinful mentors and peers, who used their words to build us up or tear us down.
To combat these lies, we need to focus on the Good through daily prayer, scripture reading, and spiritual reading.
We need to turn off the things that distract us or drag us down. In extreme circumstances, perhaps we need to even cut off the people or friend groups that drag us into places that are not good for us. That is what our Lord meant when he said, “And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you” (Matt. 5:30).
May our Lord help us to cut off the sinful passions, the worldly attachments, and the deceitful narratives that we’ve come to believe about ourselves. And through the prayers of all the American saints – known and unknown – may He replace the lies we believe about ourselves with His Story: a Story of redemption, hope, truth, grace, and love.
Featured image: Sunset on Mt. Everest, photo by Nir B. Gurung, Wikimedia Commons