More on The Five Love Languages

I previously blogged what was meant to be a slight critique of The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.  It has been one of the more popular posts on this website and I recently received a letter from a reader who was skeptical of Dr. Chapman’s book.  My intention never was to throw Dr. Chapman under the bus.  Therefore, I thought my response to this reader may help provide a balancing counterpart to my original essay.

THE LETTER

Dear M~,

Congratulations on several decades of marriage.  That is a wonderful gift from God.  Many marriages do not last that long these days; and even many marriages that do have no guarantee of continuing in a healthy manner.  Like the Christian struggle that never ends, our marriage is a gift that needs continual upkeep and love.

You are right about the “give-to-get” mentality that is widespread throughout our entire society.  It distorts loving relationships and turns them into something other than what God designed.  Despite that, I would actually recommend you follow your therapist’s suggestion of reading The Five Love Languages.  But do so with discernment.

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